Moments
by Raquelita
Summary: When Lily thought about it, she couldn't pinpoint the one day when her feelings about James Potter had changed. It was a series of moments, really, that had simply added up to something like love. A series of James/Lily oneshots and drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Because it's not about the big picture, it's about the little moments.  
I own nothing!**

Lily Evans sat quietly at the edge of the lake, trying not to cry. It was a gray November day, and she was holding a letter from Petunia in her hand. It was a response to her last attempt at a proper relationship with her sister. A plea sent from Hogwarts that Petunia might try to understand, and love her despite her "freakish" abnormalities. A letter that had been five years in the making.

Petunia's response was simple. _Please stop writing to me. _

Lily crumpled up the letter and threw it into the lake. They were supposed to be sisters! Was the fact that she was a witch really so unforgivable? So abhorrent that it was worth throwing away their bond? Petunia, apparently, thought it was. She was civil, of course, when Lily was home from school. But it was all just a show. Lily knew it, and her parents knew it too – even if they tried to pretend otherwise.

The sound of laughter dragged Lily out of her thoughts. Looking up, she saw James Potter and the rest of the Quidditch team heading back from practice. Lily turned away quickly, praying James hadn't seen her. She was not in the mood to be teased right now, or to have his undying love for her confessed in front of all of his friends, like it was some sort of entertainment put on for their amusement.

She breathed a sigh of relief as they passed, and resumed her position, pulling her legs against her chest and staring out at the dull horizon.

"Lily?"

The voice made her jump. Potter, of course. She hadn't been as lucky as she'd thought.

"Whatever you want, Potter, I'm not in the mood."

"Well, it's just – "

Lily glared up at him from her place on the ground, "Was there some part of that statement that was unclear to you? Go. Away."

James looked torn, glancing up at the castle before turning his gaze back to the girl on the ground in front of him. She'd been crying, he could tell. And he felt an overwhelming urge to make it better. Whatever "it" was.

"It's just," he continued, sitting down next to her and ignoring the disgust on her face, "It's just that …"

"If you have something to say, spit it out."

"You just look really sad," James blurted out lamely. He ran nervously through his hair and heaved a sigh.

"What I mean to say, Lily, is that I saw you just now when we were coming back from practice, and you just looked so horribly sad. So I wanted to come over here, and –"

"And _what, _Potter?"

James put a hand tentatively on Lily's shoulder, and even though she knew it shouldn't, Lily had to admit that the simple gesture made her feel better. Just a little.

"And tell you that whatever it is, I wish I could make it better."

The sensitive words caught Lily off guard. In fact, she was fairly certain it was the first serious thing James had ever said to her. No teasing, no proclamations of love, just … sincerity.

She felt James gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, and a moment later he was gone.

Lily sat at the lake for a long time after James Potter left. She thought about all sorts of things – about her sister and her family, about the friends she'd lost, but also the ones she'd gained. And, if she let herself, she thought about the very sweet words a boy had said to her.

Words that somehow really did make her feel as though everything might be all right.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the first drabble! I'll be writing a lot more of them **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Time for another moment … **

Early summer sunlight flooded the Gryffindor common room. All around, students were hunting for the last of their belongings and dragging their trunks down the stairs. The Hogwarts Express would be leaving in just under an hour – it was time for another summer.

Lily Evans stood by the portrait hole, trying to stay out of the way of the frantic students scurrying around her. She'd been packed for the past two days, ready to spend the summer at her friend Alice's. Things were getting less safe every day in the wizarding world, and Lily and Alice's parents had both decided it would be better for her to stay with a magical family. She would be better protected there, just in case the whispers of danger became more real. Lily had argued at first, saying that surely the safest place for her to be was in the muggle world, inconspicuous and out of harm's way. But after a few attacks on muggle-born witches and wizards and their families, she realized the safest thing for her family would probably be if she stayed as far away from them as possible. It was a sad thought, but Alice's continual buoyance and excitement about the summer was contagious. Lily couldn't help but look forward to it, just a little bit.

Summer also meant a few glorious months of freedom from James Potter. He'd behaved himself a little bit better this year, that much was true. But Lily still didn't trust him any further than she could throw him. In fact, she had a sneaking suspicion that his new and improved behavior was all just part of some elaborate rouse to lure her into a false sense of security. It sounded paranoid, and she knew it. But really, what other reason could there be for him to start displaying a level of maturity higher than a five year old's?

Lily shook her head. No point in dwelling on it. Even if she did miss his stupid proclamations of love just a little bit. It had nothing to do with him, she told herself. It was just that she'd gotten used to it over the past few years. That was all …

As if on cue, James came bounding down the stairs of the boys dormitory, magicking his trunk along behind him. Lily rolled her eyes – of course James would be taking advantage of the last few hours they could legally perform magic. He let his trunk down lightly next to the fireplace just as a loud thump resounded through the room.

Turning to the stairs of the girls' dormitory, Lily spotted the source of the noise. A first year crouched down on the floor and immediately began trying to gather the contents of her trunk, which had spilled out at the bottom of the staircase. Lily guessed she had tried to get her belongings down the stairs with magic, but couldn't maintain the charm for long enough. The girl looked like she was about to cry, and some of the younger boys were pointing and laughing at her. Just as Lily was about to go and ask if she needed help, James rushed over.

"Have a little trouble?" He asked kindly, beginning to pick up the odds and ends on the floor, "Same thing's happened to me - a couple times, in fact. One time," he added, his voice turning into an exaggerated whisper, "My _underwear _even fell out of my trunk. Oh, the humiliation!" He gave a false swoon of embarrassment, and the girl giggled. Everyone else began to go about their business, and the boys stopped laughing the moment James started to help her – if James Potter was being nice to someone, then everyone else would be nice too.

Lily couldn't help but smile as she watched James help the girl with the last of her things.

"Come on," he said to her, "I'll wingardium leviosa this down to the great hall for you. Sound good?"

The girl nodded, staring up and James with wide eyes. Lily was pretty sure someone had just developed a crush … she just didn't know if it was her or the first year.

As James guided the trunk out of the portrait hole, he caught Lily's eye.

"That was really sweet of you," she remarked.

James shrugged, "You'd do the same," he looked at her for a moment, and Lily felt herself beginning to blush.

"You'd do the same," James repeated, a little more quietly, "That's one of the things that makes you so wonderful, Lily." He cleared his throat then, noticing that the first year was looking up at him expectantly.

"Onward, fair lady," he announced loudly, "To the great hall!"

The girl laughed again, and the two of them exited through the portrait hole.

Lily remained where she was, wondering if perhaps she hadn't misjudged James Potter, just a little bit.

She was starting to worry she might miss him this summer.

**A/N: Reviews, as always, are wonderful! **


	3. Chapter 3

A soft drizzle was falling, blurring the edges of Hogsmeade and making everything look more like an impressionist painting than reality. Lily sat outside the Three Broomsticks, her gut feeling increasingly confirmed.

She had been stood up.

Alexander Hickory had asked her to meet him for a butterbeer at half past three. It was now a quarter past four, and he still hadn't shown up. Lily was fairly certain she could take this to mean that he wasn't coming it all. Honestly, she wasn't surprised. A few days after he'd asked her she had seen him flirting with Delana Morris in Potions. Normally Lily would think it was harmless, but she knew Delana. When that girl decided she wanted something, she got it.

Lily sighed. She hadn't exactly been married to the idea of Alex, but it still hurt to be tossed aside. She fiddled with of her hair, which was growing increasingly unruly in the damp air.

"Why so blue, Lily pad?"

Glancing up, Lily saw James Potter in front of her. To her surprise, she was actually happy about it. He tended to be a life preserver for her mood lately, buoying her up with a quick joke or story whenever he noticed she was feeling down. Funny, Lily though, he always seemed to know when she was feeling down. Even when she was careful to hide it.

"I got stood up," Lily replied, choosing not to reprimand him for his use of a nickname, "Alex Hickory was supposed to meet me here 45 minutes ago."

James made a face, "He must have died," he replied matter-of-factly, "No other reason he wouldn't show."

Lily smiled, "I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I'm pretty sure he just got … distracted … by someone else."

James stuck his hands in his pockets, "Not very bright then, is he? To think he could have more fun with another girl."

Rolling her eyes, Lily stood up from her spot on the bench, "Flattery will get you nowhere, Potter."

"Alternatively, it will get me inside the Three Broomsticks with you," he replied smoothly, "Come on, Lily. Butterbeers on me. I'm no _Alex Hickory,_" he said the name with a false dramatic flair, "But I'm not half bad."

Lily stared at him, uncertain of what to do. Half the girls at Hogwarts would kill to have James Potter offer to buy them a butterbeer. He was the picture of handsome, his damp hair disheveled, his glasses flecked with rain. Lily couldn't decide if she was insane for even considering taking him up on his offer, or insane for not jumping at it in an instant. Either way, she found two words coming out of her mouth.

"Why not?"

A bright smile lit up James's face, and Lily couldn't help but feel just a little special about the fact that all it had taken was a 'yes' from her to make him so happy.

"But this is just a friendly thing," she added, maybe as much for her own benefit as for his, "I don't want you thinking this means you've won me over or something."

"Yes ma'am," he replied seriously. And Lily thought she was probably an idiot for saying that.

After all, would letting him win her over really be so bad? Lily gave herself a shake at the thought. This was not a date, and she was not considering letting James Potter win her over. This was just a butterbeer because she'd gotten stood up. Just a drink between friends. Harmless.

So it was harmless when they found a cozy booth by the fire. It was harmless when they talked and laughed for three hours. It was harmless when James paid for both of them at the end. It was harmless when they walked back to Hogwarts together.

And it was harmless when James hugged her goodnight inside the Gryffindor common room, and she found herself wishing just a little bit that he'd held her longer.

"Thanks for everything, James," she said. And she meant it.

"My pleasure."

Lily turned to make her way up the stairs, but stopped, "Remember," she added, pointing a finger at him in a mock threat, "Just friends. Got it?"

James smiled, "Got it."

But something about his smile told Lily that he knew she didn't necessarily mean it.

"Well damn," Lily muttered to herself.

She might be in trouble.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are great .**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Time for a night in the astronomy tower…**

Lily was going to fail.

She sat in the astronomy tower, alternating between scouring her textbook and scouring the cool autumn sky above her. It was a clear night, thank goodness, because it was the last night before her first big astronomy exam. For the first time in her life, Lily thought she actually might fail.

It had been Alice's idea to take astronomy together. It had sounded like such an innocent class – you look at the stars, you map them out. What was so hard about that? But Lily soon found that astronomy was a wolf in sheep's clothing. She also soon found out the real reason Alice had wanted to take the class. Frank was in it. And so, incidentally, was James Potter.

They'd developed an almost-normal friendship over the past few months, and Lily was proud of herself for that. James still asked her out daily, but it was almost like a form of greeting now. "Good morning, Lily. I love you. Will you go out with me?" to which she inevitably replied, "Good morning, James. Thanks, but no." It was a casual joke between them at this point. And Lily sometimes wondered if James didn't just ask to keep up appearances. If maybe, just maybe, he'd actually lost interest in her romantically. The thought made her a little sad, but she chose to ignore the nagging feeling. She had a new friend. That was something, right?

For now, she needed to focus on astronomy. Calculations and mapping and various seasonal changes that caused shifts in the constellations. Lily looked up at the sky indignantly.

"I hate you, you know," she said aloud, "I used to just think you were pretty. But now…"

"Don't you think I'm pretty anymore?" The mocked hurt voice of James tore Lily's eyes away from the sky.

"I'm sorry," she said, playing along with the joke, "I couldn't think of how to tell you. There's no nice way to put it, you see."

James laughed and trotted up the last few stairs to the top of the tower.

"Alice mentioned you were up here studying," he remarked, "I thought I would come offer you a much-needed break."

He opened up his school bag and pulled out a warm flask of hot chocolate and a few baked sweets.

"Chocolate and cookies?"

Lily smiled, "You're a lifesaver."

The sat down together cross-legged on the cool stone floor, and James poured the hot chocolate into two mugs. Lily made a note to give Alice a hard time for this the next time she saw her – that girl was always plotting ways to get her and James alone together, convinced that it was destiny. As Lily kept reminding her, it wasn't destiny when your best friend was the one planning it.

"So, I gather astronomy's not really your thing," James remarked.

Lily sighed, "Apparently not. Alice convinced me to take the class, and I figured it would be easy. I mean, it's stargazing, right? Little did I know…"

She glanced up at the sky, "If I'm lucky maybe it'll rain tomorrow night."

James shook his head, "Wouldn't matter," he replied, "Professor Laurien would just clear the clouds."

"Sometimes I really hate magic."

James smiled into his hot chocolate, "Well," he said, "Luckily there is a second reason I'm here."

"You're not going to try to have ravenous sex with me in the astronomy tower, are you?" Lily asked casually, "Because this floor would be wildly uncomfortable."

James laughed, "Ravenous sex? No. Ravenous studying? Yes," he glanced at Lily, "You look surprised, Lils. But I'm actually acing astronomy right now. I'm here to help."

At first Lily was going to insist that she didn't need any help. She would figure it out on her own, and hope to at least pass with some sort of acceptable grade. But she was just about to tell him no when she realized what an idiot she was being. If James was good at this, she should let him help her. Not to mention the fact that he seemed pretty excited about it. Her stomach fluttered slightly – maybe he was excited to spend all night along with her. Maybe he hadn't gotten over her after all.

But now was hardly the time to think about it.

"Okay then, professor," she said, "if you're ready to pull an all-night, then so am I."

A smile lit up James's face, "Let's get to work."

lllllll

Exactly 24 hours later, Lily was back in the astronomy tower with the rest of her class, staring up at infinite space. But unlike last night, she no longer felt overwhelmed. With a thrill, she realized that she understood what she was looking at now. The way James had explained everything last night made it seem so simple. He was a good teacher, and she'd told him as much. She couldn't be sure, but she was fairly certain the compliment had made him blush.

"Everyone ready?" Professor Laurien asked.

She glanced over at James, and he gave her a wink. She smiled. She could do this.

"Begin."

For the next hour Lily scribbled furiously with her quill, making calculations and answering questions about answering questions about the ancient mythology of the constellations. She got tripped up a few times, but every time she began to feel flustered she remembered James's words to her last night.

"Always go back to the North Star," he said simply, "And orient yourself from there. It's always my starting point, that way you don't get sloppy with calculations moving from one constellation to another."

When she heard Professor Laurien say, "Quills down," she finished her last answer quickly, and looked down at the parchment. She felt good about this.

"So," James asked as they filtered down the spiral staircase, "How do you think you did?"

Lily smiled, "Actually, I feel great about it! And all thanks to you."

James glowed, "I'm glad I could help."

"You saved my skin," Lily replied, and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Same time, same place before the next exam?"

"It would be my pleasure," James replied.

And Lily found herself looking forward to the next exam.

**A/N: I hope you're enjoying these ficlets so far! Please review if you have a moment. **


	5. Chapter 5

The first time Lily noticed 'the look', she knew she was in trouble. She was sitting next to James Potter in Potions, minding her own business and trying to keep up with Slughorn, when she felt his eyes on her. She turned ever so slightly, and there it was.

The look.

Damn that look. Her last boyfriend, Damien, had looked at her that way. That had been different though, because she was dating him. They were together, and they'd been in love. For awhile, anyway. And James had stood by patiently, which surprised Lily. Admittedly they were friends now, but she still hadn't expected him to be so … well … nice. Damien hadn't seemed to expect it either. He looked like he was going to die of shock when James sat down next to him and started chatting. Lily was fairly certain he'd expected James to try to hex him into the next week, not try to be his friend. Even she'd been suspicious at first. But James seemed sincere, and eventually she got used to the boy who used to proclaim his love for her every day keeping a respectful distance from her relationship.

That wasn't really the point, though. The point was that she and Damien were over now, and James Potter was giving her the look.

When she noticed it in Potions, Lily decided to ignore it. Maybe he was daydreaming. Maybe his mind was a million miles away and his eyes had just decided to focus on her. Maybe it wasn't anything.

The second time it happened, she knew it was something.

They were studying in the library together, the last rays of sunlight disappearing into the trees. Lily was trying to explain the finer points of Arithmancy to James, but had the distinct feeling that he wasn't listening.

"James," she said, looking up from their notes, "Do you get what I'm saying?"

And there it was again. The look. Impossible to ignore this time. He was looking at her like she was the only girl in the world. Like she was special. Like he loved her.

Lily felt her stomach drop to her feet.

"Don't look at me like that," she said, feeling color rise to her cheeks as she turned back to their books.

"Like what?"

"Like you just were."

"Why not?"

"Because, it …" Lily trailed off, entirely unsure of what to say. Because it made her feel nervous? Because it made her feel like she meant the world to him? Because it made her feel …. Well, because it made her _feel. _

"Just, just don't. That's all," she finished lamely.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" James asked quietly. Lily could swear he just got a little bit closer.

"Not uncomfortable, per say," she said, "It's just that we're friends, James. And friends shouldn't look at each other like that."

Even as she said the words, Lily knew she didn't really mean them. Because in spite of herself, she liked being looked at that way by James. She liked the way his face lit up when he saw her. She liked that he always hugged her for a second too long. It was just that all of those things were easier to ignore when he wasn't looking at her like he had never stopped loving her.

"Well," James said, pulling Lily away from her thoughts, "I guess I can always look at you some other way. Like this – " He made an absurd face, and Lily laughed.

"That's not quite what I had in mind, but I could learn to live with it."

"I'd rather you just learn to live with the way I look at you now. It's not so bad, you know."

"It's no that it's bad at all," Lily said, glancing over at him, "It's wonderful, really. Which is the problem."

James shook his head ruefully, "I don't understand you. You like it, but liking it is a problem?"

"Yes," Lily replied, "Yes. It is. Because we're friends. Just friends. And we're sort of at a great place right now, and when you look at me like that, I want to be more than just your friend. And that's … I don't know what that is."

"What are you so afraid of?"

Lily sighed. She'd asked herself that question a hundred times. What would be so bad about letting James Potter win her over? The answer, she discovered, was simple enough. James had spent years trying to get her to go out with him – what if it was all just a game? What if, once he finally had her, he didn't want her anymore?

For a moment she considered lying. But she looked at the face of the boy next to her and realized that she couldn't. She had to tell him the real reason.

"I'm afraid that once you have me, you won't want me anymore," she said quietly.

"Lily," James said, gently turning her face toward his, "I'll always want you. Always. This isn't a game to me. It was when we were kids, but it's different now. It's been different ever since the first time something I said made you smile, and I realized that all I wanted to do was make you smile again."

"James, I-"

"Let me kiss you, Lily."

Her eyes widened, "Kiss me?"

"Yes. Please. I promise you won't regret it."

Lily wasn't afraid she would regret it. She was afraid of everything that would change if she said yes. Because then she couldn't deny what she'd been fighting ever since she and James had become friends. She couldn't ignore her feelings, or his. There would be no going back.

She looked around them. The library was empty. She was running out of reasons why she shouldn't be with the boy who looked at her like he loved her.

"Okay," she whispered.

And James Potter kissed Lily Evans.

**A/N: Reviews are wonderful! **


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